Texas A&M vs. TCU

Dallas, September 9, 1989

Well, this is my embarrassing story. I feel a little guilty about telling the one about the Feuerbachers, so I figure fair is fair (plus they would just have this story to hold against me, and now they can't). The Aggies packed it up to go to Dallas to play Texas Christian University. And about nine of us booked a couple of adjoining rooms in a Motel 6. Then we acquired tons of beer. How this was accomplished I cannot recall, but we were all underage. Anyway, I had never been inebriated. Till that night. And I overdid it. Big time. I was introduced to a drinking game called "buzz". In this game, you go around the circle, and count off "One, two, three, four" and so on...until you get to seven or a multiple of seven. At that point, you substitute the word "buzz" for that number. Hence, it would go, "One, two, three, four, five, six, BUZZ, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, BUZZ, fifteen, etc....". The obvious consequence for messing up was to take a drink. Needless to say "buzz" got me way past "buzzed". I was humming. Feeling no pain, as they say. Well, we slept well, then I awoke in the middle of the night and had a irresistible urge to go wee-wee. And for some inexplicable reason, I looked at the lazy-boy like chair in the sleeping room and, Aggie word, I saw a urinal. It wasn't a urinal. It was a chair. But I saw a urinal. So I whipped out willy the one eyed wonder worm, and prepared to have at it. I let loose. I recall feeling an incredible sensation of relief, and then the light came on with a cry of "What the hell do you think your doing!!!". I looked around and realized that I had urinated, not just on the chair, but all over fish Cordova's uniform. As it turned out, fish Cordova was a loser, a thief, and a poor student who quit after one semester, but they still haven't let me live that one down. By the way, the Aggies won the game 44-7.

Back to the Freshman Tales
I am reachable at rhay@tamos.net
Copyright © Richard Hay 1998